Can the world please slow down? I'm getting dizzy.

Sometimes life can drag on and on and on…..and other times it seems to zoom right by me and I don’t realize what has happened until it has gone on by.

The past week has felt that way. Just a week ago tomorrow began a downhill roll that didn’t stop until I hit the bottom Monday night. I am so appreciative to HISD for choosing to honor some of the Jewish holidays. Not that I actually celebrate them – I am not even sure what this one was – but it sure was nice having Thursday and Friday off. I could not have planned it better had I had the choice to do so. I spent both days getting ready for Nathan’s going away party that we had at our house on Friday night. We roughly estimate about 60 people came to bid their farewells. Almost half of the group was students from the English language school he has taught at since January. Only a mother could feel such joy to have one student after another coming up to me, expressing their honor and respect for Nathan. Things like “he is the best teacher at ELS” or “the school won’t be the same without him” or “Nathan is such a fun person – I will greatly miss him.” Comments came from young adult students from literally all over the world. I welled up with tears each time.

Then there were the co-workers from the school as well as those from the tutoring job he had while at U of H and those he has worked with at Cities for the past 5 years or so. Nathan is certainly one of those people who make friends that love him deeply.

There was also a constituency of folks from Harbor Church that he has been around for the past 5 years. They are folks who have appreciated his sharing of his home, his family and his kindness through the years.

Two other things that helped to make the evening a memorable one:
1 – The Party Queen was there to help with the menu and cooking of the food (in case you don’t know whose alias that may be; it is the one and only CINDY GOZA! Lifelong friend of the Herrington’s – surrogate family member to all of our children. I NEVER attempt to throw a party without her input and assistance – thanks, Lou!)
2 - “So, anyway, how 'bout kareoke?" We rented a kareoke machine and had a great time singing to each other. Even some of the most bashful got up and belted out a tune. Miss Haley Hartzog did a great job as the emcee for the night with Kelly Hanna serving as the DJ. And did you see in the paper that there was a sighting of Patsy Cline at the party?

The Texas-style “kick-off”was definitely a hit. It is hard to imagine Joshua Wood or James Herrington wearing the cute little cowboy boots that we used as table decorations. They, of course, didn’t have the bluebonnets in them when these young cowboys wore them. I was afraid Will Phillips was going to wear Nathan’s black felt cowboy hat home – he did make a cute cowhand himself!

I got to bed around midnight only to get up to be at Omega House by 9:00, followed by coming home to continue getting the house back in order and pulling together dinner for church. Did I mention my 3 precious grandgirls spent the night with us? And Amanda was home – all 4 girls slept in our room since Amanda’s room is being used by Jessica and her 14 month old son for the month.

Monday was the day Nathan left for France – whoever said “parting is such sweet sorrow” must have been a mom. What a mixture of emotions – sadness, joy, pride, fear, regrets, precious memories…..It will be a long time until next May. If I can do anything about it, we will go to visit him while he’s there.

So the weekend came and went ….I know there was something that I wanted to say to Nathan or did I say it and I worry that he didn’t REALLY see what my heart was saying?

I love being the mother of adult children. I feel so blessed that each of them bring a unique kind of joy to my life – a special kind of pride that comes from being their mom. God has truly blessed me….and it just keeps getting better and better….and yet harder and harder at times….a good kind of hard. (Is that possible?)

Epilogue: I think this is the first official time that all 4 kids have moved out of the house – not just for a night or 2. And yet it isn’t an empty nest – we have each of the empty rooms filled with a young lady and her baby until the end of the month. THEN will it be empty? Probably not, but this will go down in the records as the time when we have no Herrington children living with us anymore. (So why the tears? Let’s just blame it on hormones!)

Life has its ways....

Sometimes I am totally amazed at myself! Thinking I had somehow duplicated my first posting, having 2 copies the same, I deleted it. I can be such a ditz! The words are gone - just as though they never existed. My reference to making lemonade in the 2nd posting (which is now the first one) losses it's importance because of my elaborations in my first first posting (the one deleted - are you with me?).

After hours of trying to restore that which was lost, I finally gave up... why can't I just give up instead of wasting so much time on something that is futile?

My determination and perserverence (otherwise known by my family as stubborness and hard-headedness) just won't let me give up....

In my younger years, I had expected to get my degree in education, teach two years and THEN get married. Instead, I was married after 1 1/2 years of college. I actually didn't begin teaching in public schools until I had been married 20 years! That was not what I was expecting......

I always expected that my mom would be around to teach me how to be a good grandmother - I sure am glad at least that I have my mother-in-law to look to....she truly loves her grand- and great-grandchildren! I just thought....

Being the control freak that I am, I always thought that I would be in control of my life at all times. I figured as long as I told God what I wanted and needed, he would take care of it all would be fine! Somewhere along the way the system changed - it is amazing how when you ask God to be in charge, how drastically things can change. I know that "his ways are not my ways," which oten times causes lots of stress, chaos and upheaval in my life. But given the alternative, I am glad He is in charge and not me. I don't always understand or know what is going on, but since He did create the universe and me, I am confident that He knows more about all this than me. It just feels kinda scary sometimes....but it sure grows one's faith.

Not being in charge me leaves me with a life full of the unexpected......I think I can live with that ...today.

Oh, by the way...I was able to retrieve that first posting...my stubborness was once again validated.

Who is the teacher here?

At times, children can seem so fragile......and yet are some of the most resilient people I have ever known! Deuntiis is in my kindergarten class this year. He came from another school that held him and his first grade brother back because of excessive absences. He is a quite bright young man - VERY verbal and I mean VERBAL! Deuntiis is one of those kids that you immediately fall in love with and yet he drives you crazy! I am sure he will be the cause of numerous new gray hairs this year. He is one of those kids you tells you WAY more than you care to know.

Out of the first 17 days of school, Deuntiis' mother has been late picking him and his brother up on at least 14 of those days. Tuesday when I was leaving at 5:00 they were still waiting in the office. I got on the phone, trying to call their mom at work - the home phone is out of order. After several times of it being busy, I got in the car and drove over to Allen Parkway Village, the nearby neighborhood the little family lives in. When no one answered at the door, I got back in the car and tried the work number again. There was an answer, FINALLY. By now, I am feeling very frustrated with this mom who has continued to seem quite neglectful to me! My assistant principal is about ready to call CPS on her!

The manager of the hair styling shop answers the phone. When I inquire about the whereabouts of the late mom, she very apologically tells me that she (the manager) was in a wreck trying to get back to relieve the mom for her to come pick up the boys. As the mom rushed out, it is reported that she was quite upset and frantic about the tardiness of the manager causing her to be late getting to the school. I expressed sufficient concern and immediately hung up so I could call the waiting assistant principal to relay the story that will be given by the tardy mom. All get home safely.

The next day, Deuntiis comes in all excited - his dad is coming home tonight - from jail! All of a sudden I start putting one and one together.....and my heart goes out to this mom who is trying her hardest to keep life together for her family while dad is away....for how long, I don't know, but it is about to over for this time......and I begin to wonder is this really a good thing or a bad thing that dad is back.....

Today Deuntiis can hardly wait to tell me that his dad DID come home and he has lots of hair - on his head, on his face, his chin, and between his mouth and nose. Apparently, this is quite different from the last time he saw Dad. Excitedly, he tells me that his dad will be picking him up.....but once again, I take the two boys to wait in the office when no one has come by 4:00.

Children so easily have high hopes and great expectations...they dream and long for the best, and yet when they get so much less, they go right on with life...still hoping and wishing and dreaming and getting as much out of life as they can!

My experience has been that children often teach me so much more than I will ever be able to teach them. Oh, sure I teach them to read and write and spell color words, but they teach me about life...how to love unconditionally even when those you love and trust the most let you down. They teach me to dream and reach out for my goals even when they seem too far to reach. They teach me to get up every time I get knocked down.

Had you asked me 30 years ago when I was preparing to be a teacher of young children if I thought I would learn more than I would teach, I would have laughed - "I "know"so much more than little ones I would have told you..... but these little 4th Ward warriors have taught me so much more than I would have ever expected. It doesn't take these kids long to figure out how to add sugar to make that lemonade out of the lemons they are given.....the sad thing though is that they are not all like Deuntiis - some of them tire of finding their own "sugar" end up adding more and more lemons and use less and less sugar to those lemons.

God, help me to be one who adds sugar and not more lemons to the lives of the little ones you have put in my care for the next 9 months. Help me to find opportunities to be a "sugar-sprinkler" in the the lives of all I encounter.

....or do you ever get what you expect?

Life has never been what I was expecting.....sometimes that can be a good thing and other times it is less than what I have hoped for. Either way it is the old "lemonade" thing. I am sure that whoever first squeezed a lemon and tasted of the juice was greatly disappointed (not like my son, James - he has always been a "straight lemon-lover!"). Which is why the lemon-squeezer probably kept working at it until he got what he wanted ...sure, it probably took several tries - water, then sugar...but he finally perfected it! And I am sure glad he did.....I love lemonade. I wonder if he tried mixing other things with it before he got what he wanted. I wonder if he had a mass of critics around him giving their opinions, asked for or not. I wonder if he ever threw the whole thing out and said "forget this!" but still kept coming back to try again.

So, why am I doing this "blog?" Three of my four children have begun their own blogs and I find great pleasure in reading about their lives and thoughts. So, I thought - what the heck! Go for it. I may not have a lot of profound things to say, and my life may not the most interesting in the world, but life in Montrose and being a teacher of inner-city kindergartners can't be that boring, can it? Well, we will just see....if I get too bored, I will just go back to reading my kids' blogs.

I never expected to be "blogging" at 51 years of age.....(does blogging have a certain age-limit? I hope not......) Until the next time, when you least expect it.......

May your lemonade be sweetened with REAL sugar with a lemon wedge added!

Betty