Some days I laugh, some days I cry, some days I do both!

Some excerpts from the last few weeks:

2nd grader Joshua who I taught in kindergarten is walking down the sidewalk.
Me: Joshua, how are things going in 2nd grade?
J: Ok.
Me: Glad to hear that.
J: Yea, I can't believe I am growing up pretty fast!
Me: I can't believe it either!

Jeremy is my textbook case for what a REAL ADHD student looks like. In order to not lose him in transition from one place to the other, I usually hold his hand. He really doesn't seem to mind. He likes the attention. One day we are waiting for his older brother to pick him up after school and we are holding hands. He holds up our clasped hands and says " This one is done."
Me: What do you mean "this one is done?"
J: You can hold the other hand now, this one is done!
Well, I still not sure what "done" means to him, but we switched and he was happy once again! Maybe I am training him one hand at a time how to behave? Who knows!

One day in the cafeteria, I notice a group 3rd graders who are standing at their table playing around. Not really causing problems, but not eating their lunch. I casually walk over and light-heartedly inform:
ME: Guess what? This is your lucky day! You get to have stools to SIT on instead of having to STAND during the whole lunch period! (trying to be funny and get the end result I wanted and it worked!)
As they sat down, Robert says: I remember being in your class, Mrs. Herrington. It was FUN!
Me:I liked having you in my class, Robert.
Another student, Travonte:I was one of your best students, wasn't I?
Me: Travonte, you weren't IN my class.
Travonte: Yea, I know, but if I WOULD have been, I would have been one of your best students, right?
Me( trying let him have is 15 seconds of feeling good about himself):I am sure you would have been!

Today I wore my black and white low-top basketball-looking shoes. Two first graders noticed in admiration.
Jasiha: Hey! I like your shoes, Mrs. Herrington
Marese: Hey, you got on shoes!!!!
I am not sure if he thought maybe I didn't normally WEAR shoes! But it made ME feel good!

I like to remember these sort of "happy places" in my life (for you, LJ) because invariably I have moments like today.
Jeremy, the one mentioned above, came to school with a bruise across his left cheek. When I asked him about it, he said his daddy did it. When I asked why his dad had hit him, he said because he wouldn't turn over for his "whooping." When I asked why he was getting a "whooping" he said because he was bad at school and was on "yellow" (Poor behavior - just before U-unsatisfactory). I cried at the thought that I had been instrumental in his bruised little face. I then asked where and how his dad had "whooped" him. He said with a belt on his bottom and his legs. I looked at the back of his legs and saw bruising there as well. As I write this again tears flow for precious child who has been to the dr. but doesn't have medication yet to help him. I cry because at least 3 times a day he will ask if I still love him and it breaks my heart to wonder if he has to ask that of his parents. For the rest of the day I lavished love and prayers on him like I never have.

God, give me the patience and love to deal with Jeremy each minute of the day that he requires re-directing. I KNOW I can handle his behavior issues easier than he or I can handle the beatings.

PS - I immediately took him to the office where they talked with him, took pictures and called to report the incident to CPS.

This is NOT how I played muscial chairs growing up!

I have never worked in a place quite like where I am now. I sometimes wonder if this is really what the "real world" is like and I just haven't experienced it or if this is so out of the realm of reality that I am in another universe all together.

Brief history:
1st week of school - 7 kindergartners - heaven on earth!

2nd week - 1st grade has 24 students so I agree to an K/1st split - K - 7 + 1st - 6 = 13 total, teaching 2 different curriculums in a room half the size (literally!)I have had for the past 12 years.

3rd, 4th, 5th weeks - each week adding new students to where I am up to total of 17 kids (K-9, 1st-8). Going insane, feeling like a failure as a teacher.

6th week - bilingual class has a K/1st split as well, so after 2 1/2 weeks of asking, we get to consolidate - I get all kinder totalling 13(YEAH!) - 9 Enlish speakers, 4 Spanish speakers (I am ESL certified and have been for about 10 years - not a BIG deal). Bilingual teacher gets my 8 English-speaking + her 3 Spanish speakers making 11. Works for US just great!!!! Got everything going great. Getting into the swing of things for a whole week!!!

THEN.....exactly a week after the 2nd big switch, get are told we can't do away with bilingual classes (among reasons, I am sure the biggest is MONEY!)
We are told today that the teacher who is our new in-school suspension teacher (for those who should be suspended but need to not be missing school) is going to be doing 1st grade instead, and the bilingual teacher will go back to her original 7 kids! The good news in the midst of all the constant chaos is that I will be down to only 9 kindergartners. The other good news will be that the 1st grade teacher who started out with 24 and has now been down to 19, will probably have 3 more leave her class to go to the NEW 1st grade class of 8, giving that class 11. That all sounds like a pretty good end result, but here we are into our 7th week of school and still shifting students around...some of the 1st graders (5, I think) will have had 4 different teachers in 7 weeks...that just ain't right! (I know "ain't" ain't a word!)

Well, that is it for today and that may very well change tomorrow!
Coming into a different classroom this year for ONLY this year because of our new building coming up, this is definitely NOT what I expected!!!

Why are the simplest things so hard?

Why is it that the simplest things seem so hard? You would think one who is simple-minded (like myself) would be one who would be able to choose to change how one thinks about things rather simply. But from personal experience, it ain't so!

But today, once again, I am choosing to do just that. Some very simple but profound thoughts were presented to me last night in a Bible study. This is the basics of what I heard:
We are pilgrims on a journey....those before us had a long road to walk and had a LONG time to have to do just that. But we live in a time where the road is long, but our time is not so long. Time passes quickly so Paul tells us in the Bible that we need to "run the race" that is before us. Our time is short. We need to do whatever it is we need to do to make the best of this time.

When I was a young mom in college, I thought that time was DRAGGING by so slowly. Will my kids ever learn to walk? Be potty-trained? Ever start to school? Ever get out of school? Ever leave home?

That seems as only yesterday...I NEVER thought I would think or feel that way. That is what old people say about their past. But it is true - sometimes I long for a chance to have my little children back and get a second chance for a do-over. But that opportunity is gone and I need to keep on moving...

So what does that have to do with today? My current circumstances are for only a short time - I can choose to begrudgingly drag through them or I can make the best of them and learn the most from them. I can choose to face my challenges or I can let them decide what my days look and feel like.

I only have 8 short months left to love and teach my 16 kindergarten and first graders in my tiny little room. There definitely needs to be more singing, more laughing, more hugging, more praying...'cause I don't like feeling how I have been feeling at the end of the day! And that is ONE thing I can be in control of (I refuse to give up THAT part of my control issues! There are some things that I need to be in control of.) I can rest assured that God has great things in store for me and I am going to choose to look for those things and live into them! Life is too short to do otherwise.

It is 7:30 in the morning. I am sitting at my desk at school and can hear the chaos beginning outside my window. God, I pray that your peace would be the over-riding Spirit on this campus today. I pray your joy and love would ooze out of me like sweat on a hot summer day. I pray it would spill out on those around me and I would not even be aware of how YOU are at work in my life in spite of me! So, here I go....out into the jungle of wild animals ages 5-15. "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me" and "without Him I can do nothing!"