Just when I think I have life under control....

Silly me! I get this false perception that I am "controlling my life" and then, Wam! The rules change, the setting and the characters change....When will I ever understand the concept that the only thing that I can be sure of is...you guessed it - CHANGE is going to happen! You would think someone my age would have caught on by now. Why do I resist it so? And yet good things come from change as well as difficult things...and sometimes "change" is neither good nor bad, it just is!!

AHA! I have a way to keep from being so frustrated with Change! I think I have a way to play a trick on Mr.Change! Are you ready for my secret? Promise not to tell? Everytime I am faced with it, I am going to step right up and act as though I PLANNED the Change....be delighted about it, be the "f-word" in the midst of it (Flexible, of course - I KNOW that is what YOU were thinking, RIGHT?) I am going to look it straight in the face and welcome it with open arms! I am going to refuse to whine or complain....Hey, I may EVEN be HAPPY about it! After all, this IS my life and I have a right to feel however I want. If I choose to be happy and content, by golly, I am going to choose that! Even if I have to choose it again and again every day!

(Do you think I will be convincing the next time the C-word happens? Well, we won't have to wait long to see....it happens more often than I care to realize!)

Things change as you get older.....

In the 32 years I have been married, I have never lived in the same town as either my parents or my husband's parents. A week ago I went 2 hours away, rescued my dad from a nursing home and brought him to Houston to live. He didn't have a clue what was about to go down.....somehow, in the midst of just being together and caring for him, HE decided it would be a good idea to move to Houston. When he visited the assisted living place I had already found, HE decided he would like living there and HE decided it would be a good idea to sell his car! Wow! God really did an amazing job answering our prayers in a potentially VERY difficult situation.

It seems to be a really hard thing to grow old and lose control of all you thought you were in control of....to not be able to remember what you did the day before or even an hour ago....to be at the mercy of others around you ....hoping and praying that they truly have your best interest at heart....to see all you have given your life to seem so unimportant.....UNLESS it has been a life invested in your family....

I can only hope that I can help make these last few years feel worthwhile and full of love and contentment for my dad. That is the very least that he deserves....the things he has given me and taught me are so beyond measure that I will have to live another lifetime to repay him.

One of his greatest joys these days seem to be recalling life as he experienced it LONG ago - the resent history seems to be gone from his memory. What a great gift he gives us as he shares a part of who he was/is at a time in my life when I want to cling to everything he has to offer me.....

My dad....oh, he is FAR from perfect, but I sure do love him. And I thank God for letting me be his daughter.