Five years ago today

I spent the day beginning to get my classroom ready for a new year in a new school. Didn't know hardly anyone at the school, but I knew this is where God had called me to serve...my least favorite of the 3 schools nearby that I had visited, sent resumes, praying that God would open a door for me into a school in the neighborhood.

GLEC has an old and very ugly building - inside and out - and yet children and teachers spend their days there do what they came for and then go home. I was quite overwhelmed with all the "treasures" that the retiring teacher left for me. I didn't even have room to bring my own boxes of "treasures" so my first job was to decide what would stay and what would go. I had just about finished out the first week of work...Thursday had arrived, I had been very productive but still had LOTS to do before that room would be ready for kindergartners! As I left the school, I remember thinking, "Enough for today...tonight I go to worship & praise God and then study His Word under the leadership of Beth Moore. The once-a-month summer event had become the highlights of my summer...God was teaching me new things everytime I went. But tonight He was getting ready to teach me something I was not quite ready for....

After the 2 or 3 carloads of us girls - Harbor and Willow Meadows members - found seats near the front at the downtown Arena theater by Hard Rock Cafe and Angelica Theater, we settled in for a time of wonderful praise...I remember singing "I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my shame, I'm laying them down for the Joy of the Lord. I'm trading my sickness, I'm trading my pain, I'm laying them down for the Joy of the Lord. Yes, Lord!Yes, Lord!Yes,Yes, Lord! AMEN!" I recall Tracey Barrett standing in front of me raising her hands in praise in a way that was not common to WMBC, but had become common at HC. Tears of joy flowed as I realized how God was working in her life and those of so many others all around. I truly was experiencing the Joy of the Lord.

I don't really recall what Beth taught on that night, but I know it was profoundly moving because we all left the Arena Theater not wanting the evening to end. I remember a strange thing that happened however in the middle of her teaching. A 1-inch strip of white satin ribbon fell from the ceiling...drifting and floating down ever so gently. Then a black one came down just as softly and quitely as the white one. I looked around and would just randomly see a white or black ribbon floating in the air...not distractingly, just peacefully coming down. I picked up one of each color, played with them for a second or 2, and then placed them in my Bible, turning my attention back to Beth.

During the 3 summer months we had each worn a blue braided ribbon...I think as a reminder that we are set apart by God for His purposes, but I can't remember for sure. That night I do remember Beth saying that we were to pray and ask God to show us how and when to take it off.

As we left, we decided to all meet at Diedrich's Coffee on Westhiemer so we could make the night last a little longer....little did I know HOW long that night would last!

Just as we were about to reach the coffee shop, Jim called me on my cell phone, asking where I was. When I told him of our plans, he said I needed to come home right away. I asked why and he said my mom and dad had been in a car wreck. When I asked him if they were ok, he said they were in the hospital and we needed to go to Lufkin right away. I let all of the girls out at Diedrich's and rushed home. The only other time I have ever had the same sort of surreal, intentional calmness but scarry feelings was 6 months ago today when I got a call at school saying Jim was in the ER and had had a heart attack. I had this peace that all would be ok, but for now I was scared!

Jim met me at the door and told me my dad was ok, but my mom had been killed in the wreck. I totally fell apart and lost any sense of calmness that I had coming home. They had been driving home from a Bible study and they turned into an on-coming lane of traffic...she died immediately.

So much of the next few days was a blur, but I do remember driving to Lukin that night beginning to talk and laugh about Mother already being in heaven and dancing and singing and praising God and asking Him a million questions. We all agreed that whatever layed ahead of us, we knew she would want us to celebrate her life, not grieve and mourn her death. To the best of our abilities that's what we did.

The following week I stayed with Daddy and got some things taken care of. When I went back to Houston and to my new school, Cindy Goza and Cyndi Wehmeyer had set up my room and had it ready for me to start my new year. What a blessing friends are when you are in the middle of a crisis. They were just 2 of the many who loved on us and cared for us in the days that followed.

So what did I learn?

1 - That God does not promise us an easy road just because we are doing our best to follow His will for our lives and commit to serving Him and others.

2 - He does give us peace and courage and strength during hard times....though, His Holy Spirit comes to us as quietly and undistracting as black and white pieces of ribbon falling from the ceiling, He is there if we choose to take the time to "know that He is God" and He offers his comfort freely.

3 - Exchanging our sorrow, shame, sickness and pain for the Joy of the Lord doesn't come naturally...it comes with a pre-determiined committment to choosing God's Joy even when it doesn't feel easy to take on. YES, LORD!

4 - Being set apart by God and for his purposes is not as easy as it may seem. Before they took Mother's casket out of the church, Emily and I placed our blue braided ribbons that we had worn for the 3 months in the casket. Mother was set apart by God for a purpose as well and had "finished the race" valiantly...and now she had been summoned home to her Creator and Father. Why now? I have no idea, but just as surely as I know that God placed me at my "last choice" school to teach in, I know that He took her home that summer night, after she and I both had been studying His Word and rejoicing in His goodness....

5 - "For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."